Welcome back to Dinner With Friends! Pull up a chair, because today we’re talking about the little things that make friendships last.

Subscribe now

Nobody really hands you a guidebook on how to be a good friend. We learn how to do a lot of things in life, but friendship is usually something we’re expected to just magically understand.

Turns out, being a great friend isn’t about having the perfect words or never making mistakes. It’s built through small choices: checking in, remembering the details, celebrating people, and knowing how to show up when it matters.

So today, we’re breaking down the friendship skills nobody teaches you (but everyone could use a little help with):

• 1. Ask better questions: “How are you?” works, but sometimes it gets the automatic “good, you?” response and then everyone just politely exits the conversation. Try asking something with a little more room to breathe, like what they’ve been excited about, thinking about, or obsessed with lately. People are usually way more interesting when you give them something real to answer.

• 2. Remember the tiny details: The little things people casually mention are basically friendship gold. Remembering someone’s coffee order, the show they were excited about, or the thing they were nervous about makes them think, “wait, you actually listened?” And honestly, being remembered feels really good!

• 3. Be the person who reaches out first: A lot of friendships are just two people staring at their phones thinking, “I should probably text them” and somehow a month disappears. Send the message. Make the plan. Share the random meme. The easiest way to have more plans is to be the person who actually starts them.

• 4. Know when to listen instead of fix: When someone you care about is having a rough day, the instinct to jump in with advice can be strong. Suddenly you’re five steps into a solution they didn’t ask for. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just say “that really sucks” and be there with them. Not every problem needs a game plan, sometimes it just needs a friend.

• 5. Celebrate your friends loudly: Friendship isn’t only about being there when things fall apart. It’s also about being the person who gets genuinely excited when something good happens. Your friend got the job? Freak out with them. They finally did the thing they’ve been talking about forever? Make a big deal about it. Having someone in your corner feels pretty great.

• 6. Say the nice thing out loud: A lot of us think kind things about our friends and then… keep them locked away in our brains forever. Meanwhile, they have no idea. Tell people you appreciate them. It might feel a tiny bit cheesy for three seconds, but a sincere “I’m really glad you’re my friend” can stick with someone for a long time.

• 7. Let friendships change: Some friendships stay exactly the same for years, and others slowly shift as life happens. Someone you used to see every day might become someone you catch up with once a month, and that doesn’t automatically mean something went wrong. People grow, schedules change, and everyone moves through different seasons. Some friends are there for the whole story, and some show up for one really meaningful chapter. Both are worth appreciating.

Thanks for reading!

Good friendships don’t happen because everyone is perfect at them. They happen because people keep choosing to show up in the little ways.

Today’s topic: how to connect with people faster.

Because making friends shouldn’t feel like you’re trying out for a personality contest. Most good conversations come down to small things: asking better questions, actually listening, and making someone feel like you’re happy they’re there.

So here are 16 simple ways to make connecting with people feel a little easier (and a lot less awkward):

1. Ask someone about something they’re excited about: People instantly get more interesting when they start talking about something they actually care about. Instead of the usual “so what do you do?” try asking what they’ve been excited about lately. You might get a much better conversation (and a lot less small talk).

2. Remember someone’s name and use it: Remembering someone’s name is a tiny thing that makes a surprisingly big difference. You don’t need to repeat it every five seconds like you’re trying to prove you learned it, just using it naturally makes people feel noticed.

3. Give genuine compliments: The best compliments are usually the ones that show you were actually paying attention. Skip the generic “you’re cool” and point out something specific, like their style, their energy, or the way they handled something.

4. Ask open-ended questions: Good questions give people room to tell a story instead of forcing them into a yes or no answer. Try “what was your favorite part?” or “how did you get into that?” and suddenly the conversation has somewhere to go.

5. Share something small about yourself too: A conversation shouldn’t feel like an interview where one person is doing all the talking. Share little things about yourself along the way so the other person gets a chance to know you too.

6. Make eye contact when talking: You don’t need to stare into someone’s soul like you’re in a dramatic movie scene. Just looking up, staying present, and showing you’re engaged can make a conversation feel way more comfortable.

7. Put your phone away during conversations: A phone sitting between two people has a weird way of becoming the third person in the conversation. Even if you’re only checking one thing quickly, putting it away shows you’re actually there.

8. Listen for details you can follow up on: Good conversations are built from little moments people mention along the way. If someone talks about a new hobby, a trip, or something they’re working on, remember it and ask about it later — people notice when you do.

9. Show curiosity instead of trying to impress: You don’t have to walk into every conversation with your best stories ready. Being genuinely interested in someone usually makes a better impression than trying too hard to seem interesting.

10. Find something you have in common: A shared interest can turn a random conversation into an “oh wait, you too?” moment. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing, sometimes liking the same show or having the same opinion is enough to get things going.

11. Laugh and react naturally: Conversations feel better when they feel like actual conversations, not a job interview. A real laugh, a “wait, really?” or an excited reaction shows someone you’re enjoying the moment with them.

12. Ask someone about their opinion: People like feeling like their thoughts actually matter. Asking what someone thinks turns a basic conversation into something more personal, and you might learn something you didn’t expect!

13. Introduce yourself first: A lot of people want to talk but are secretly waiting for someone else to make the first move. Being the person who says “hey, I’m __” can instantly make a room feel a little less intimidating.

14. Invite someone into the conversation: Pay attention to the person who hasn’t said much yet. A simple “what do you think?” or “how do you know everyone here?” can make someone feel included instead of invisible.

15. Be the person who starts the plan: A lot of potential friendships stay stuck in the “we should totally hang out sometime” phase forever. Be the person who actually sends the text and picks a day, someone has to break the cycle.

16. Follow up when you enjoyed talking to someone: Most good conversations don’t turn into friendships because everyone waits for the other person to reach out. A quick message saying you had fun talking can be the little push that keeps a connection going.

Making friends and connecting with people usually comes down to small moments. It’s less about having the perfect story, being the most outgoing person in the room, or somehow becoming a social expert overnight.

It’s about being the person who says hi, asks the extra question, remembers the little details, and makes people feel welcome.

If this gave you a few ideas to try, save it for your next event, coffee date, or “why am I awkward at small talk?” moment!

And if you’re building better friendships one conversation at a time, pull up a chair and join the crew!

Subscribe now